PhoenixFire — The Flames of Eternity

Phytochemistry—Chilies

2007-06-25T09:55:00.000+08:00

Well, this sort of came into mind as my chili plant was drying up nicely for its vouchering today. Some interesting facts about chilies for all spice lovers out there:

Kingdom: Plantae; Division: Magnoliophyta; Class: Magnoliopsida; Order: Solanales; Family: Solanaceae; Genus: Capsicum.
There are several distinct species, the most common being C. annuum (bell peppers, cayenne), C. frutescens (tabasco), C. chinense (naga, habareno, Scotch bonnet), C. pubescens (rocoto), and C. baccatum (aji peppers).
The piquancy or spiciness of chilies is measured in Scoville heat units (SHU), after the American chemist who created it, Wilbur Scoville. SHU measures the amount of the active phytochemical—capsaicin—present in the chili.
Common chilies found in Malaysia measure about 2 500 to 8 000 on the Scoville scale.
The hottest chili in the world (recorded in the Guinness Book of Records) is Naga Jolokia that measures 1 041 427 units on the Scoville scale!
The U.S. standard grade pepper spray measures 2 to 5 times the SHU of Naga Jolokia! (Oh, the pain ...)
Pure capsaicin extracted from chilies is 15 to 16 times stronger!
Why does your tongue "burn"? Capsaicin binds to your sensory neurons that maintain your temperature homeostasis locally, causing a rapid depolarization that continuously sends nerve impulses to the brain. This gives the same kind of effect that abrasive damage from heat or fire will cause.
One of the best methods to relieve this sensation is to ... drink milk.
Beneficial uses of chili's active compounds include:
- sending your stalkers to the torturous realm of pain (by the way, excessive amounts may cause death);
- reliving peripheral neuropathy pains;
- temporarily reliving muscle and joint pains caused by arthritis;
- tentatively suggested as a cure for diabetes (golly, that's interesting);
- tentatively suggested as a cure for lung and prostate cancers (this is even better!);
- deterring your annoying pests; and
- causing your tongue to tingle (heh, almost everyone loves this about chilies, don't they? =D).

Now, don't you appreciate your chilies more? Go to your local Tesco or Giant hypermarkets and get them while the stocks last.

[Note: I'm not paid by them to do this advertisements. =(]

Lessons of Life, Part III: Power

2007-06-06T00:22:00.000+08:00

After the hurdles of the past few weeks (which exacted their toll on my holidays), I can now update my blog in the fashion it used to have previously. And so, Part III of the Lessons of Life.

Power is such an ubiquitous term in today's society. Power of knowledge; power of technology; power of the mind; power of life and death; power of speed; power of manipulations; power of the people; etc. Basically, each and everything in life has, in part or as a whole, an association with this abstract phenomenon. Invisible and vague though it may be, it has persisted throughout the inexorable breaths of centuries and decades until today.

Amusing, isn't it? Many people have not seen "power" in its entirety, yet they are able to grasp at it with unwavering confidence of its verisimilitude. Wonderful, yet absurd, at the same time. Still, this is human we're talking about, and humans are about the most advanced creatures in the world, secondary only to fictitious aliens from the outerspace.

What is "power", really? Excluding definitions related to science or engineering or religion, does it mean the ability to do or accomplish something? Or does it mean the possession of control or command over others, such as authority or ascendancy? Or perhaps, following the observation of an author named Amy Tan: the ability to hold someone else's fear in your hand and showing it to them? Perhaps it was all these put together, or perhaps only some were true. Or perhaps, none of them were correct at all.

From the anthropological point of view, power has existed since human existed. Humans generally require power in order to achieve their goals, and power facilitates the attainment of such desires. Without power, humans are ... well, powerless. From hunting, to agriculture, to the establishment of communities, cities, capitals, metropolises, and city-states, power has been the dominant factor to achieving these dreams. Humans hold power over animals, plants, and in today's world, a great influence over the capricious forces of nature that were previously thought indomitable. Succeed they did, at a terrible price of innocence.

Kings and emperors of ages and dynasties past have wielded power over the fate of citizens in their sovereignty, and some could be historically attributed to have brandished such important (but perpetually vague) force with great impunity. And they had—in one way or another—stirred dire ramifications for their missteps in using the power given them. Such retributions were understandable appropriate—desirable even—because power, the omnipresently-invisible-but-somehow-or-rather-can-be-wielded universal force (I can't stress this enough, for some reason), holds an unthinkable proportion of changes that will drastically alter how life is lived and how people become humans.

Prominent figures in history such as Adolf Hitler, Mao Zedong, Shih Huang-Ti, and many others had held power in their hands before. And their power caused such an upheaval that life simply became different in their realms of dominance (and also triggered their grand entrance into history books, no doubt). Humans had lived—and are still living—in the presence of power, to which the ugly aspects hidden within Pandora's box had been unleashed into the world by this singular entity alone. I do not suspect that power resides at the apex of the things that drive humans to fall into the wrong side of humanity. Why? It is because power alone can open up the avenue to other resources a human desires. I think we've heard enough of the atrocities committed in the disguised name of power that they need no further elaboration.

The big question to ponder is: When is power going to fade? And no, I'm neither talking about your common electricity nor the rate of transfer of a unit of energy or work for a given unit of time. I am talking about power that humans wield to force themselves and others to do things they do not and would not normally do. Such power is the most aberrant of all forms of wrongness, yet it is also the most abundant, the wildest, and the most sought after by humans. Humans can be such fickle creatures: they know very well that this form of power is destructive, yet they pursue and embrace it with wanton rapture and are willing to kill themselves for such an ephemeral element. Such is a blight in the creations of the Divine.

I don't view power as wrong in its entirety. I understand the need for power to exist and to even subsist until the day Armageddon strikes the world. Without power, law and order and justice cannot be established. Without power, humans fall into chaos and disorientation. Yet, as much as such power is needed, it is also presenting a major stumbling block towards the achievement of true humanity. Yes, that is a utopia that is realistically unattainable, but every single change towards it presents a better and brighter future. It is far better to take a slow step than not taking any at all.

A balance is not impossible to achieve between the two extremes presented by the dilemma over the existence and use of power. It is humans who wield power, and thus it also falls to humans to control its use. This, thus, is the greatest of all powers: the power of the mind and the will. Frankly speaking, as much as power is desirable even to me, but its influence was but a feathery touch that barely register for those whose minds and virtues are steeled against its corruption.

Power versus power, the outcome depends on the human him or herself.

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power". —Abraham Lincoln

P/S: And in case anyone was wondering, yes, this post of mine is made in conjunction with the recent events that happened in the local environment.

—PhoenixFire

Symphony of Life's Love and Death's Hatred

2007-05-22T20:08:00.000+08:00

I suddenly feel an urge to write poem, and here goes:

Symphony of Life's Love and Death's Hatred

Life is like a vagrant bird,
Who travels weakly, tiredly;
The sun beats cruelly on its frail structure,
The rain strikes hard on its naked body,
Still, it plows through the elements,
Praying they let it survive another day.

It finds respite from the shade of kind trees,
And sustenance from compassionate rivers;
On and on it flies, weakly, tiredly.
It never gives up,
For it has a purpose to achieve,
And the purpose gave it strength to go on.

Year turns into years,
Spring turns into winter;
The search has been long and lonely,
Though it can now give a content sigh,
For its purpose has been achieved,
That is to return to its flock.

Life and death are inseparable,
Woman and man they are made to serve;
With fate's hand turning,
The tapestry is filled,
And so weaves the tale of Love,
In the life of Hatred.

Love gave all to Hatred,
Substantiating her feelings for him;
Yet Hatred denounces her,
For he felt reluctant to accept her,
For he felt inferior for her care,
And so, he abandoned her in a cold night.

In the long years of absence,
Hatred returned to whence he came;
He found Love was still waiting, alone,
Though she had long left the world,
Mourn did Hatred till he dies,
For in life and death, Love and Hatred are one.

—PhoenixFire

Change

2007-05-22T18:57:00.000+08:00

I switched my blog template to something lighter (and definitely greener than usual) for a change of mood. Well, of course I'm not that bad-tempered these days. I just happened to be thinking on a lot of things lately, and green is a great color to calm the mind.

And one would also notice the great gap in between at which I update my blog, something I must apologize for being unable to do. Time has not been an understanding entity, and its many facets on life's course prevented me from updating regularly. Nevertheless, things have calmed down, somewhat, and I can start writing again.

—PhoenixFire

Updates!

2007-03-08T01:12:00.000+08:00

Again, the sudden lethargy in updating the blog has caught up with me. So, I'll apologize for the lack of new materials in this humble blog. It wasn't done on purpose, but circumstances forced me to lay my keyboard down temporarily in favor of pipettes and forceps.

Nevertheless, here is a brief update of my life:

I have resigned as a Global Moderator.
I have taken up the task as a Role-play Game Master.
My Role-play character is an Angel =).
This semester's syllabus is very challenging and stimulating. You can't get enough of Molecular Biology, Genetics, and Plant and Animal Tissue Cultures, I assure you.
The interesting subjects come at the mass expenditure of energy and time to produce acceptable reports on the experiments. Not the mention the intermittent tests and examinations inserted in between the time interval. Combined together, I've basically produced enough paperwork to outlast several chapters of my abandoned stories.
Chinese New Year was not the least bit fun. Assignments and presentation spoilt the mood.
The mood for Chinese New Year was lightened up by a trip to Genting Highlands =). Cool escapade from university workload there. (I wonder if the pictures are ready?)
The mood for Chinese New Year was further lightened by the accumulation of approximately RM 500 "auspicious money". Not very substantial, but let's just count our blessings, shall we?
My fruit flies (Drosophila melanogaster) grew rather well during Chinese New Year. Hurrah to the banana-yeast medium!
Things have settled down now, the reports and things are getting more manageable. The scariest thing of all, however, looms in just about a month away. Let's pray that I'm ready to face it, by then.

That's about all.

—PhoenixFire

Lessons of Life, Part II: Motivation

2007-01-03T13:11:00.000+08:00

As promised, the second post on the Lessons of Life.

It is said in books of marketing and organizational behavior that motivation is a great boost for the best performance. In psychology, motivation can either excite or flatten one's determination (as in, positive or negative motivation). The most common of motivation, in the case of organizations, are bonuses, raises, job security, promotions, various benefits, and almost all things material. Psychologists usually prefer mental motivation, with examples such as praises, encouragements, morality, warnings, and others, aimed to stimulate the mental state of a person to increase his or her performance. Combined, both physical and mental motivations are crucial in order to keep an employee, or more generally, a person, in working order. I'm rather sure that your parents have "motivated" you to toe the line for your studies before by promising gifts if you score well in your examinations. Therefore, it isn't hard to understand why motivation is important.

Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist, developed a hierarchy commonly cited in most books of organizational behavior that is known as the Hierarchy of Human Needs. In this simple, but extremely insightful, pyramid-shaped hierarchy, a normal person (usually in organizations) become motivated in a series of steps. There are five steps involved, starting from the physiological stage, then safety, sense of belonging, esteem, and finally self-actualization. I find it fascinating and applicable in our life, for such a hierarchy has a soundness to it that is hard to deny.

You see, a person's first basic need is the fulfillment of the physiological wants: air for breathing, food and water for survival, sex for procreation, and sleep and homeostasis to maintain bodily functions. In most ways that not, this is the true basic need. Without these, a person simply doesn't exist. After that, it moves to safety, the need for the sense of security for the body, employment, resources, morality, family, health, and property. Once the most primitive physiological needs are fulfilled, safety is simply the expansion of them to encompass a larger section of one's life. When your life is adequately secure, you begin to long for love and belonging, a feeling that you're needed and therefore should be around. The third stage is the affirmation of your existence, from which you build relationships, make friends, marry and have a family, and desire sexual intimacy. Then, you need to have esteem: having people around you does not make you desirable if you do not have confidence in yourself. Self-esteem and personal achievements become the ruler to measure one's self-worth, through which dignity and respect for and by others naturally blossom. To translate your self-worth, you need to show that you can do what others could not: morality, creativity, spontaneity, the ability to solve problems, unbiased, factual. That is self-actualization. Once this has been achieved, you've become a "true" person. Simple, no?

Well, yes, it seems complete, but personally, there seems to be a missing piece. If human progression through life is measured by these five aspects, and that life comprises more than these five steps, what will happen, then? Take for example, in a company, you start off as an office-boy and wish to be at the highest position, say, the CEO. From an office-boy, you have your physiological desires fulfilled, and you're promoted to a clerk. Then, your security is ensured, and you move on to become the assistant branch officer. After that, sense of belonging for branch officer, and esteem for branch manager, and finally self-actualization merits you the position of the regional manager.

Well, that's still a long way to go to become the CEO, no? You still have to become the managing director, the director/president, the shareholder, and finally the CEO. What, then, will drive you from a regional manager to become what your first ambition is, after you've exhausted all the fulfillment of your needs? You're basically well-to-do being a regional manager, but you still desire to become the CEO of the company. That is when another crucial and most quintessential motivation comes in: self-motivation.

Self-actualization is the ability to do what others could not, whereas self-motivation is the ability to persuade yourself to continue doing what others could not. In the most basic sense, even if you're able to do what others others couldn't have done, without the stimulation for you to continue doing so, you end up back in the fourth stage of the human needs. But, what is self-motivation, and how do people understand how it works?

Let me share with you a personal experience. Obviously, like most parents, mine are no less masters of the psychological motivation. Whenever an (important) examination approaches, my parents, especially my mother, would persuade me to do well (and by this, it means surpassing other classmates) in the examination. When I procrastinate, she will start offering tempting "presents" in order to bind me to my promise. I was once offered a new handphone, a Playstation 2, a new computer, a bicycle, an MP3 player, cash money; almost anything imaginable that I desire to have. But, surprise, surprise, none of them are in my possession. The only one that they fulfilled was the gift of the handphone, because I would be staying outside and they need me to have a means to communicate with them in case of troubles. Even then, it had been only a cheap Nokia 3310 (which, astoundingly, I'm still fond of), which, in most people, would have been to trivial a gift for all those sweat and effort and sleepless nights poring over lines of miniscule writing describing anatomy, physics, chemical reactions, proses, poems, etc.

True, like most people also, I felt cheated. The promises had been empty, unfulfilled, and my high hopes of acquiring something that I actually wanted were dashed. Yes, at times, I felt angry, too; angry at the lack of commitment to do what they had so sweetly said. Who wouldn't?

You see, I'm like most ordinary boys, with the exception that my study has always been above average (though never a genius) and I detest sports that are rough (soccer, rugby, basketball, etc.). As such, it is always in my (childhood) perception that whatever I achieve should be rewarded with things of equal value, and given my progress, those promises should have been attained. I'd reached the fifth stage of the Hierarchy of Human Needs. Thus, my dissatisfaction at their broken promises. Until one day. In Standard Four, something unexpected happened. My results plummeted drastically, which was something so alien to me that I felt stunned, because I've always had this notion that nothing can trouble me much in studies.

When I showed the results to my mother, instead of words of encouragement and counsel, I was scolded, big time. That was the first time I've ever shed any tears for a bad result. My mother's words had been stinging, scalding even. That was when I realize reality is not always what you wish them to be. She told me that I had been arrogant with my achievements, derelicting my studies because I believed that I'd always achieve fantastic results. In a sense, yes, that was true, though not directly a result of my personal desire. I abandoned my studies because I do not see a need in obtaining something when it's not rewarded sufficiently. Hence, my downfall. I had so wanted to rebuke that my results had been a consequence of my dissatisfaction.

But then, another thought struck me, a truth that drove hard into me like the drill of a red-hot iron spike. It had been very easy to shift blames onto others, when whatever has happened had been a ramification for my own failure to see the bigger picture. Yes, my parents had been unable to give me what I wanted, but was it the truth that my result came from them? No, for they were not the teachers who taught me. Even then, my teachers had divulged whatever knowledge they had in classes, so it wasn't their fault, either. It had been mine, and mine alone. My sense of security that my brain functions better than others had given me a false sanctuary. For some time, even though my parents had been reticent in their promises, my report card had been reasonably good. So, what happened then?

Lack of motivation? Perhaps. But, whose motivation did I lack? My parents'? No, they did "motivate" me, though fulfillment was an entirely different matter. It was then I realize what they had been doing all along, giving promises that they didn't keep. Motivation is meant to boost and inspire confidence, a tangible something that we cling on to in order to improve our performance. We fervently hope that we can improve in order to receive the promised benefit. But, that is naturally the wrong perception of motivation. Whether or not motivation is in place, you've always known what you're capable of doing, the boundary of your talents. Motivation merely spurs you to work harder, achieving something more with the ready set of talents that you've always have with you. If you attain something, it has always been the product of your effort in utilizing your capabilities to the fullest; motivation, whether fulfilled or not, acts only as the catalyst.

Realizing that, you'll come to understand that you are able to do something because you have the ability to do so, and not because the motivation unlocks hidden talents within you (though, in some cases, this might be true). It means that you need to believe in yourself (self-actualization), that you can do so, and that motivation, whether present or not, does not guarantee anything if you do not believe in your abilities. Understand that external motivation is important but not necessary for grand achievements. The necessary and vital form of motivation has always been the faith in yourself.

It might also be good to take into account the people around you when you are promised something, because those promises are not meant to be empty, but rather a circumstantial action. My family does not earn ten thousand every month, so to buy a Playstation 2 then would have cost a bomb. Indeed, my parents made those promises because they fear that I would not do well (the circumstance), and in that, they took into account my future, something which I realize later. I've been ashamed of thinking that they had been breaking promises on purpose. Most people do not realize this, and that's why their relationships with their family deteriorated. In fact, after I realize what my parents could and could not do, I've never asked them to promise me anything, save for a treat in a restaurant. That much, they could fulfill without faking a smile, and something that everyone can share with.

In Blueserver, motivation usually comes in the form of promotions, and naturally, those include new abilities and power to the wielder of the position. Those that got stuck below usually feel abandoned, unappreciated, and so, they normally resign soonafter. It is a common sight with the current recruitments; the people come and go. Well, I've joined Blueserver's internal circle only three years ago, if I'm not mistaken, beginning as a small Moderator. At that time, the administration was still central. Being a Moderator was, truthfully, like being an underachiever: the smallest and least significant group in the entire organization. Yes, that was what I initially felt also, though the impact had not been any greater after my realization of the more important things. I realized that with or without promotions, with whatever I was capable of doing (as a Moderator), it should be to the fullest of my ability, and that I joined to help, not to grapple for power.

Suffice to say that those years had been filled with a great deal of achievements, both big and small. From an outsider, I've become an integral part in Blueserver. Also, it would be an understatement to say that I do not grow in the circle. Well, perhaps I do not rise in position (I've remained a Moderator for quite some time), but I grow in influence, so to say. Maybe it's my nature, but being the most junior among the team then, I've gone up against seniors, something that newcomers wouldn't dare to do. And yes, I've also expected to be presented with a letter of expulsion one of those days, but incredibly, it did not come. Instead, I was offered a position as a Game Master (GM), a position of power and prestige (from the viewpoint of users), a position of burden and responsibilities (from my viewpoint, and I believe, some of the GMs themselves). But, I've kindly rejected the offer, not because I've turned arrogant and disjointed from the circle, but rather, because of something else that I'll reveal in future posts. In any way, the offer had been tempting, and most people would have wanted it, but I decline to have it. It did show something else, though: the offer was a recognition of my contributions and trustworthiness, the fifth stage of the hierarchy—self-actualization.

However, my driving force has never been these positions, these promotions. Even being given the position of a Global Moderator had not been something I had openly wanted (rather, Denster forced it on me :P). The motivation had and has been my own; these external ones merely fortify the innate faith. Therefore, those who understand the true meaning of motivation can truly progress without a significant promise being made to them.

So, I quote Aristotle: "I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is victory over self".

-PhoenixFire

New Year 2007, Ahoy!

2007-01-02T12:20:00.000+08:00

I usher in the fortunes and goodwills of the new year of 2007, the Chinese lunar calendar of the Pig, the ever-cuddly, mud-splattered, nutritionally-sound creature that we all enjoy eating (not to mention the plush toys also =)).

So, Happy New Year, and may the fortune smiles in all your endeavors!

—PhoenixFire

Second Last Day

2006-12-14T13:41:00.000+08:00

Today is the second last day for the internship. This Sunday, I'll be going to my supervisor's house for a Christmas celebration (Sentosa trip was cancelled). Anyway, I'll be missing in action for the next two weeks. Sigh, the inconvenience of not having technology around you when you need to use them.

—PhoenixFire

Lessons of Life, Part I: Duty

2006-12-07T15:02:00.000+08:00

Transferred from Blueserver forums:

It is time for my Editorial this week, and I was a bit stumped as to what topic I will approach that will set me apart from the rest. Denster started off with an introduction to the forums, EdeNz with his lament, Emus and his tremendously useful "The Art of Posting it Right", and finally, Gemynd, who fought for equality for the unnatural. Frankly speaking, they each have their own opinions of which they wish to project, while I don't. Surprising, isn't it?

Well, nevertheless, I finally decided on this topic, which will reflect the experiences, both bitter and sweet, that I've gone through as life progresses. I am considered a bit of an oddity here, because I seldom appear in the spotlight of things. Some might consider me to be a frosty person, from my curt (and often metaphorical) replies in the forums. Maybe I am just like that; maybe not.

In any case, I wish to share the stories of my life, through which we can get to know each other better. As the title, this Editorial is not a standalone, but rather, an amalgamate of the lessons of life that will be revealed more when the cycle turns. Let's just hope that this shines like the rest, shall we?

*****

Duty. The word brings a multitude of meanings to different individuals. Many relate duty to responsibility; others don't. The correlation is minimal, but it's there, nevertheless. Let's make it simpler: it means the fulfillment of responsibilities through moral or legal reasons. At least, that's what the dictionary says. Now, the question is: what makes you duty-bound? Work? Studies? Relationships? Societal demands? Or just simply, all of these?

Yes, those are the conditions under which you are made duty-bound. You have things you must fulfill in order to live up to someone's expectations, and it is morally and legally wrong if you shirk them away. Ignoring your duty is like inviting the wrath of the higher-ups if you're working, planning to fail if you're studying, breaking your relationship if you're engaged, and others. There are instances where you feel that you have so much responsibilities on your shoulders that the invisible weights will just break your shoulderblades and crush your scapulas. Ouchies.

How do we know of our duties? Ask any of the Admins or Moderators around here, and they'll most probably say, "I just know them." True enough, since duties never assume a physical form. Denster has duties to perform for the users of the forums, while EdeNz and Megablue have to take responsibility for the server. StarrY is managing the Banlist, and Emus and venus1988 take charge of the forums' well-being. All these are duties that are made apparent because you're obliged to do so, much like an employer-employee-customer relationship. One mistake, and you're in hot soup to explain your predicament.

I will not bore you with details of the works that the Admins and Moderators do, because they are not the focus of the "duty" that I have in mind. While it is common for duty to be given some sort of mental obligation, there is, however, a duty that is unvoiced in this world. It never demands to be fulfilled, and you're not morally and legally obliged to accomplish this duty. It is always there, omnipresent, but its form is hidden and not easily seen, at least to those who actually try to find it. Can you guess what "duty" is this? Some might have been able to glimpse it in this post, but I will elaborate nevertheless.

The everpresent, invisible "duty" that one is not morally and legally obliged to complete is the duty to him or herself. Now, most of you will be asking what this duty to oneself is. Simple: it is the duty whereby an individual evaluates, judges, and reforms his or her individuality. Of all the duties present, this is by far the hardest to fulfill, because most people tend to possess a certain belief that they are better than the rest, hence removing the need to review themselves.

True, no? It is very much easier to say that others are weak, that others are to be blame, than placing yourself as a weak person, as the one to be blamed. Thus, it isn't surprising that we come up with excuses and reasons to worm our way out of the scrutiny. In other words, you're trying to escape reality.

As I've said before, this duty is not morally and legally binding; you do not invite any external debilitations should you not fulfill it. Why? It is not wrong for you not to reevaluate yourself, because the self that you recognize is the one that you're most comfortable with. You can do things perfectly when you're in this self, at least from your personal perception. If you're a lazy person, changing an attitude will be hard, and that's why you tend to adhere to the self you like (which is retaining the lazy attitude).

Nobody likes to change much, after all, especially when it conflicts with your beliefs. Additionally, attitude change can only be imposed if you actually have an awareness of the self that you've created and are projecting to others, which is a hard thing to do. Most people ask the question: "Who am I?" Yet, how many are able to answer the question honestly? Not many, notably.

It is easier for us to hide behind a curtain of projected façades so as to hide our true self. Again, why? It is so because it allows us maintain a relative cognition for others to evaluate us, or probably because we ourselves are unsure as to the nature of the self we have. The need to show others that we are what they perceive is usually dominant. You want to gain the approval of others, hence you always conform or agree to whatever others have to say.

You want to be promoted, hence you gratify yourself to the higher-ups so that they evaluate you positively. However, has anyone noticed that, when you do so, you're actually suppressing the salient self, and doing things that you normally will not even dream of doing? One becomes a smoker because of this; one becomes a drug addict also because of this. We try to avoid confrontations as they conflict with the self we're demonstrating, and fail to overcome the entailing consequences. Simply put: we lie to ourselves and invite these to happen.

That said, there seems no room for transformation (or the continuation of this boring post), right? Sorry to disappoint you. Even though this duty is not demanding, there will come a time where a conscientous call will naturally "demand" that you change. We live in a world filled with people, in an environment where Homo sapiens (thinking humans) thrive.

Ambient awareness will cause us to realize that sometimes we're not doing things according to what our self dictates (say, you misuse your power when you've not done so before), thus creating an inner conflict. When this occurs, we sometimes doubt ourselves in our conducts and become demoralized. One of the worst cases of salient-self incongruency is the inferiority complex, that, more often than not, leads to suicides.

Enough with the scientific talk. You're all wondering what's the point of this post, right? I learnt some time ago that we do not exhibit just one self; we may have several selves that we project in concordance to the situations. In any case, this duty to self requires that you're able to answer your conscience vis-à-vis the circumstances.

What is the point of doing something, when you're not able to give an honest answer to yourself? What is the point of expounding your virtues, when you are actually vacuous of such virtues? What is the point of doing things, when you live to regret it later? What is the point of self-righteousness, when you in the end lose out in the battle of modulation? What is the point of being a stubborn persona, when you are actually in the wrong? What is the point of doing things, if you're not able to handle responsibilities and consequences of your actions? What is the point of asking, if you're reluctant to hear the answers? These are the things most people do not think of when they are not able to perceive the duty to self. In the end, you hurt yourself more.

It must be noted that the ultimate weapon in this is actually your mind. Your mind is a mighty apparatus that has the power to create and destroy the selves. We recognize values using the mind, and we as surely remove unpalatable virtues using it. We create selves through the conscience that is our mind, and scrape them down using the mind just as easily. The mental power of the brain is the precursor to all the selves in all individuals. And our minds perceive things differently, hence the difference in attitudes, beliefs, and opinions. Such is the beauty and complexity of the mind.

It is saddening, really, for most people to be blinded by their egocentric self, such that they fail to see the importance of the duty to self. Having self-confidence is vital, but not so that you're unable to conform in different situations. The people around you are definitely not passive; they are active in perceiving life and its course. Criticisms are levelled most of the times, some unbelievably hurtful, others laced deeply with sarcasm. Whatever it is, I believe that criticisms are the catalysts to change, usually for the better, if you're able to perceive, understand, and assimilate the meanings they contain. The truth, after all, is sweet to hide, sour to tell, and bitter to hear. But, if you're able to face truth squarely, you have just fulfilled a big, satisfying duty to yourself.

Of course, change does not mean that you submit yourself to the entire conformation that others might have for you. That is the wrong case of understanding the duty to self. You change by acculturing ideas and opinions of others, but not prior to weighing the rationality of your decision. If you do so without referring to your conscience, you're are actually compromising your entire existence, that you live at the whims of others, that you're a nobody in this world.

Everyone is born unique, and that uniqueness is what separates the individual self from others. What is important here is that you are able to select and justify your choice of change, before incorporating it into your being. The assimilation does not necessarily be whole; you can adapt your choice in a way that it satisfies both you and others, hence a mutual understanding.

This might be hard, but think of it this way: a plant will perish should there be not enough nutrients in the soil; to survive, it needs to change its adaptation such that it is able to proliferate even though it will require more organic products initially (say, elongating the roots, closing the stomata, etc.). If it is able to do so, you'll find that the plant will survive longer after the depletion of the minerals, and might just be able to live on once the minerals regenerate in time.

The core of this post is universal; here, it is for us (the Admins/Moderators), and for you (users). We cannot coexist if we're intolerant of others, and if we discard the perceptions of others as insignificant. We live as the yin and the yang of things; one cannot be without the other. The transformation is individual, but the driving force is communal; if we're able to understand one another, I believe we will be able to forge a shift in the current paradigm that will bring us to a new level of evolution. This, of course, refers to the forum and also the individual.

My final say: do things and be true to yourself, and change as you see suitable for yourself. After all, you are you, and I am I; we are different, yet the same (in a manner of speaking). There's no need to be me to satisfy others. Just be yourself in all conducts, and if you're able to attribute the actions to your conscience, you've probably just did the right thing, even when others see it as wrong. The perceptions of significant others will be very potent in this, indeed, for they are the essences to how you shape your reasonings and justifications to ascribe to the self you believe in.

That will end my Editorial. Thank you for reading this long-winded and soporifically insubstantial post.

I'll probably begin Part II, soon enough.

—PhoenixFire

Updates!

2006-11-27T17:53:00.000+08:00

1. World Awareness under Emergency Rule: "None shalt talketh of race, religion, and the Government, for they who doth shalt be smitten with the Hammer of Justice". (More like, Warning Level, though the deterrent doesn't seem to be enough. Hmm ...)

2. Christmas is near! (Woohoo!)

3. Internship ending in 3 weeks' time. (Yay!)

4. Family's coming in 3 weeks' time, too! (Double yay's!)

5. I miss DotA, I miss Warcraft III, I miss Burbenog, I miss anime, I miss authoring, I miss my pillows and mattress, I miss Malaysian foods, I miss writing long essays to kill forumers, I do not miss Denster. (Uhm, yeah, that's about right ... no?)

6. Works are piling up, reports are mounting, and I am daunted by the tasks at hand. (I'm supposed to publish a mock scientific journal! The horror!)

7. I'm finishing my ninth book (The Sword of Shannara) I've bought since I came here. The tenth coming right up! (Whee!)

8. Lab trip to Sentosa Island imminent. Going to be a barbeque night with my fellow lab-mates. (Menu: marinated chicken wings, roasted sweet potato, butter corns, garlic bread, fruit salad, sausages, fish balls, hams, ..., and yours truly, charcoal—just kidding.)

9. Holidays ending soon. Term restarting on the 8th of January. (Oh, no!)

10. A Happy and Early Merry Christmas to everyone! (I wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!)

That's about all.

—PhoenixFire

Obituary—In Memoriam

2006-11-17T15:16:00.000+08:00

On Thursday, 16th November 2006, my old files were officially deleted. Gone along were the files that I've accumulated for some time, as well as precious games and softwares that keep me connected to the world. May they rest in peace.

Amen.

P/S: All is not lost! I'm reinstalling when I get back home! Praise be with the Flames of Eternity's blessings!

—PhoenixFire

Day of the Reckoning (Not)!

2006-11-13T15:34:00.000+08:00

A short blog, informing readers that I am 99.9% sure that I will be returning home on the 29th of December, 2006. Well, I'd have returned earlier, but for my family who wishes to come here to celebrate Christmas. So, if you all have any questions or need any help, I'm afraid I won't be around for much maneuvering around the forum or server alike. Most likely, I can come here (the laboratory) to finish up my reports, but that's most probably all.

P/S: And yeah, I remember you saying something about a gathering, Denster, but I'm sorry that I'll be unavailable for it.

—PhoenixFire

It Takes a Man to Change the World

2006-11-08T16:10:00.000+08:00

Hmm, does it seem that way, or the mass media here—be it electronic or printed—print a very bleak picture of the occurrences back in motherland? Somehow, the problems in Malaysia appear to be more pronounced here than when I was back there reading the news. We have corrupt ministers who are pardoned for building his house illegally, then we have the issue of the Sultan of Johore denigrading the Westerners as dirty and his vehemence to bring down the Causeway (God knows how I'm to return to Malaysia if that happens), the continued barbed remarks by the former Premier, the formal denunciation of Manglish, and many more.

Well, perhaps I'm here and they're there, and the other perspective always seem to be more prejudiced, however slightly. I've read about Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew hailed as an "Asian hero" who modernized Singapore (curious, where is Tun Mahathir here?) in the Time magazine, good progress in technological and scientific research, a lot of efforts in community projects brought about by their governors and MPs, and a myriad other things that do not concern Malaysia. Yes, the media have not much concern about anything in their neighbors (save when war is imminent or when some form of threat appears), but I am concerned, nonetheless.

Paranoid I may be, but my concerns lie not on the grandness of the Minister Mentor or the progress of Singapore. They lie more in my understanding of what I have always think of my beloved country, of which I've grown up in and of which I've had many fond memories of. Malaysia, in its simplest form, is a country beautiful because of her capability in moulding different races and religions together to form a uniquely wonderful blend of aesthetic pride. I am under no illusions that we have constantly warred with the inequities we feel through some of the more draconian policies our Government has managed to draw out, but still, I love my country. Still, differences aside, we Malaysians still share an abundance of similarities and understanding.

I've always consider people, regardless of creed and color, have what the scientific community would call the "common sense", more so for those that govern the nation. Sadly, I'm in for the worst shock—an example of which turns out to be officials being let off the hook because many others have done the same thing. How wonderfully generous our governors can be, for they are of the perception that because others have done the same thing, it is not a gangrene that will spread further if it made an appearance in the media. So, people, it is advisable next time that you all build your houses without approval; well, the law cannot harm you because "others have done the same thing". We should also ignore police and officers who take bribe, because "others have done so". We should not queue up when taking a bus ride, because "others have done so". We must not care what happens in our neighbor's house, because "others have done so".

This is one of the most ridiculous reasons that I've seen given by the Menteri Besar of Selangor (never mind that he works near where I live). Has he not the slightest idea of what his words mean and their impacts on the country? One person did a heinous wrong, and he's pardoned on the excuse that many others had done the same thing? Perhaps if it concerns a normal citizen, the affair might have turn in law's favor, but because the perpetrator is a politician, he's spared the agony? Where is the justice in this? If we know that many others did the same wrong, whatever happened to the enforcement of law on these offenders?

For the betterment of the future of Malaysia, I'd have sacked him if I had the power—never mind that it was a slip of the tongue or not. Or maybe suspend him from duty for a period of time (something like a year or so, if it was left to me to decide). And we'll herd in the black sheep after that.

Understand this, it takes an army to conquer a nation, my fellow friends (and politicians); but it takes just one man to change the world. And if it was me, I'll become the latter, either for the sake of improving Malaysia's ailing popularity, or for the sake of upholding justice as it should have been.

P/S: Somehow, this post got lost somewhere in transition, and remained as a draft instead. This is a little bit outdated, but oh well, since I've already done it, let's don't waste the effort. =)

—PhoenixFire

A Lonely Weekend

2006-11-06T14:15:00.000+08:00

Sigh, I might be fine as long as my health and sanity are concerned, but things here are, truth be told, dull and monotonous. I spent the Saturday devouring the last of several storybooks—all of them medieval fantasy (Warcraft series, to be specific)—that I've bought here (which, admittedly, are much cheaper than those sold in Malaysia), and that's the end of the "fun" that I will have for my long stay here. Well, until I got my hands on several new ones, perhaps.

On Sunday, I relished in watching some animations (I refuse to call them cartoons) aired on the local television here, which were quite good, up until 12.00 P.M., and that's it—nothing else to fill the gap for the next half of the day, except to sleep, something of which I'm reluctant to do, since I woke up at about 9.00 A.M..

So, I did what I always do whenever I have the free time at home (in Malaysia)—think. Well, thinking it might have been, but in the essence, it's more like a transition from Singapore back to Malaysia. My mind flashed on the things that I would have done back there—playing computer games, chatting, forumming, searching up information, authoring, downloading and watching Japanese animations, and many other things that I crave even more to do now than ever.

It's not like I don't go around visiting the places here in Singapore, but I will need to have the cash (obviously) and a location to which I'm interested to go to. I've gone to newly-opened and very grand VivoCity (a main rival of Midvalley Megamall, I'll say, though it has my thumbs down for its acoustic setup—the sounds were echoing in the whole place!), Chinatown (of which nothing much appealed to me, it's just like Petaling Street in Kuala Lumpur), and a nearby shopping complex (just 10 minutes of bus ride will take me here) of which its main magnetic pull on me is the cheap books.

Still, all these novelties eventually wore off, and I found myself beset with the same loneliness that I've felt a long time ago since I've arrived here. It isn't homesickness, but rather, the change of lifestyle that forces me to give up my habitual activities (temporarily). I've gotten used to it, but my heart still yearns for the proximity with a connection to my past habits—and that will be with my computer.

Sigh. While time surely flies quickly (it's been six weeks since I'm here), but I find it a little bit too slow for my liking.

Oh, well, another month to go. I shall persevere until then.

P/S: I shall hunt for new books today!

—PhoenixFire

Officiation Ceremony

2006-11-03T17:26:00.000+08:00

Well, I guess everything's all right here, so I'll begin my authorship of ancient histories, mystical pasts, gruesome battles, archaic manuscripts, and—fine, blogging, if you so desire it!—hope that I'll be able to keep tabs of things around here. It's been a very busy, very hazy, and thoroughly hectic month, but I'm still sane, don't worry, albeit my lapses into things long gone (which is not something bad, actually, come to think of it).

That ends the officiation speech.

—PhoenixFire

A Beginning

2006-11-01T11:16:00.000+08:00

Just testing whether everything's all right. I'll link my friends (and maybe foes) here, after it's all done.

—PhoenixFire